The foundation of social skills for kids is laid in early childhood. By the age of 1.5-2 years, kids primarily communicate with their parents, caregivers, and siblings – a close circle of interaction. At this stage, the focus is on the fact that those around them fulfill their needs and requests, but this is not yet a prerequisite for successful socialization. However, once a child begins to make their first attempts to befriend others and starts noticing that there are people outside the family, they require support in developing this interaction skill. Just like any other skill, they learn by observing examples from the family, trying things out, and learning from mistakes. Social skills for kids are not innate, so they must be practiced and learned at home, in the playground, in kindergarten, at school, and during other activities.
From a psychological standpoint, the type of attachment a child forms with their family and close caregivers influences this development. From an educational perspective, social skills are practical abilities: learning to share, take turns, make agreements, resolve conflicts, establish connections with others, and work in teams, among others.
What Are Social Skills, and Why Are They So Important?
Social skills for kids encompass a wide range of abilities that allow individuals to interact positively and effectively with others. These include:
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The ability to communicate, listen to others, and express one’s thoughts and ideas.
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Cooperative play or work to achieve a common goal.
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Empathy and understanding the needs, feelings, and thoughts of others around.
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Politeness and respect are shown not only by using words like “please,” “sorry,” and “thank you” but also by greeting, saying goodbye, and not interrupting.
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Basic conflict resolution skills: knowing when to share, when to take turns, when to work together, and meeting certain expectations.
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Forming all these competencies is difficult for a child without another essential component – the ability for self-regulation. This includes understanding their own needs, feelings, and emotions, as well as managing their impulses in social situations.
Developed social competencies allow kids to form strong friendships, communicate with older individuals (teachers, relatives, and other adults), and work effectively in groups. Children with strong social skills generally have an easier time both in school and outside of it, as social interaction permeates all aspects of life. These skills contribute to better self-esteem, confidence, and the ability to be more resilient to various challenges.
Kids Social Skills Activities in the Montessori System
Maria Montessori also emphasized the importance of socialization for children. Montessori social skills are developed comprehensively. Kids in Montessori settings learn in mixed-age groups. This allows kids to interact not only with peers but also to learn how to communicate with younger children, whom they can teach and guide, as well as with older kids from whom they learn. These classes usually span three years (for example, ages 3-6), creating a dynamic social environment. This also reduces competition between children. The wide range of abilities minimizes direct comparisons and fosters a sense of community, where everyone learns at their own pace. This experience positively impacts the child’s ability to interact effectively and amicably with people of various ages.
Culture of Communication and Politeness
Another important aspect of Montessori education is the culture of communication and politeness. Social skills activities for toddlers include learning social norms and appropriate behavior. For example, students in Montessori classrooms are taught the following:
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Greeting others (making eye contact, shaking hands).
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Politely interrupting ("Excuse me...").
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Offering help or asking for help.
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Saying "please" and "thank you."
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Walking carefully around other children's work mats or desks.
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Resolving disagreements with respect.
Kids are also actively involved in practical communal activities. For example, setting the table (even in nurseries, children help caregivers set up cutlery and some dishes on the table). Kids also help clean the classroom after activities: they put educational materials and toys in designated places and help one another. Preschoolers also take care of the plants in the classroom together. These tasks involve cooperation, responsibility for common well-being, using shared materials, and working in shared spaces. Little ones naturally learn to wait their turn, politely ask if someone is finished, or patiently observe until the material is available.
Peace Table or Peace Corner
This is another great concept practiced in Montessori classrooms. The idea of the peace corner is that it is a comfortable, cozy space within the classroom. When a conflict arises, children are directed (or learn to independently go) to this space to discuss their issues. In this corner, students must also follow specific behavioral rules: using "I-statements" to express their feelings. For example: "I feel frustrated when I can't play with this car," or "I’m upset that you wanted to play with Tom instead of me."
In the peace corner, kids are encouraged to listen actively. When someone is speaking, they can ask clarifying questions, but they should never invalidate the other person's feelings. Instead, they should sincerely try to understand the other person’s perspective. Students are encouraged to work together to find a solution that helps resolve the conflict or problem effectively.
Montessori was one of the first educators to say that such skills are often lacking even in adults. By instilling these abilities from an early age, we are sowing the seeds that will bear beautiful fruit in the future.
Social Skills Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Social skills activities for preschoolers and toddlers are similar, with the distinction that for preschoolers, you can offer slightly more complex activity options. These games and exercises should be aimed at helping children understand the basic concepts of sharing, taking turns, and properly expressing their needs.
Simple Team Games
Kids social skills activities can start with simple group games. For toddlers, this is perceived just as fun entertainment, but it is through play that basic social skills are best acquired. Try activities such as “Simon Says” or “Ring Around the Rosie.” These exercises encourage toddlers to follow instructions, communicate with peers, and develop listening and turn-taking skills.
Shared Environment and Toys
In a Montessori environment, some items are considered the child’s personal property, while the rest of the toys and educational materials are shared, and children also share the space for play. This is beneficial in helping children learn to compromise, wait their turn, ask for permission to use toys, share, or come up with ways to use certain materials together.
Pretend Play
Pretend play helps children act out various scenarios and change them as they go along. These social skills activities for preschoolers allow them to feel like adults, be more empathetic, practice politely asking for things, and resolve simple conflicts.
Group Projects
As children get older, they can begin to work together on certain tasks. For example, at home or in the classroom, they might work on a large coloring page together, create structures with blocks, build forts, set the table, etc. Working on group projects trains the ability to contribute to a team effort.
Emotion Guessing Game
Emotion charades allow little ones to take turns acting out different emotions (e.g., happiness, sadness, anger) without using words. Their friends or siblings guess the emotion. All players can both guess and express various emotions. This helps children better recognize and understand their own feelings as well.
Conflict Resolution Under Gentle Guidance
Preschoolers often encounter small conflicts during play, such as disagreements over toys or personal space. A caregiver or a parent takes on the role of a guide who helps direct the conflict into a constructive direction. This is done through open-ended questions, phrased in a way that allows children to choose and find a mutually acceptable solution. The adult’s role is also to help the child express their feelings through "I-statements." Sometimes this requires additional questions, as the child may not always fully understand whether they are feeling anger, frustration, sadness, or hurt.
Final Thoughts
As children grow, they continue to learn the importance of empathy, respect, and paying attention to others. The Montessori method places a strong emphasis on developing these values both through structured social skills and through everyday interactions between children and their peers. Kids play and work in teams, learn to express their feelings without hurting others and practice basic politeness. A very popular practice in Montessori classrooms is creating kindness postcards—children write or draw something kind about another child, learning to notice the good qualities in everyone. Ultimately, in a Montessori environment, children strengthen their belief that small acts of kindness can make a big difference. And this is more than just an activity – it shapes the person!
