The Montessori approach to tantrums is one of the most environmentally friendly and acceptable, and these tips are used by both educators and psychologists. However, parents of preschoolers most often encounter children's tantrums, so let's focus on the basic tips that can help.
When it comes to how to deal with tantrums in the Montessori method, you will find several key strategies:
- If you are going to public places like a store, where many triggers and stimuli can cause terrible behavior in children, it is worth bringing along a favorite toy or other items to help distract the little one.
- Try to understand the reasons for the tantrum and the child's feelings. Even better, explain them to the child.
- Another Montessori strategy regarding tantrums is to adhere to education in the spirit of freedom with limits. This means saying "yes" to things that are not harmful to the child or others and limiting them when it is really important.
- Routine is the Montessori approach to tantrums that works even with adults who have anxiety. When a toddler knows what to expect throughout the day, it calms them, and adds confidence and organization, making tantrums much less common and easier to deal with emotional outbursts.
The main thing noted by Maria Montessori in her lectures and works is that tantrums are bursts of emotions that are quite natural for a child when there is a conflict between their desires and expectations and reality. They occur especially frequently in transitional periods. Therefore, parents and educators should always be prepared for this.
10 Best Tips to Deal With Tantrums
Let's take a closer look at the Montessori approach to tantrums and its tips that will help overcome this challenging aspect of parenting. First of all, it is important to understand that a child does not arrange acts of bad behavior intentionally: it happens because of their inability to express their emotions when they are unable to communicate effectively.
1. Remain Calm and Patient
The most difficult part for parents is to remain calm and patient, as such situations can be frustrating and exhausting. The first (and also a quite natural reaction) of parents is anger and irritation, especially against the background of lack of sleep and many tasks that modern people have to deal with. You have to take yourself in hand and calm down foremost. Take deep breaths — everything will be fine.
By the way, you can also teach your child simple deep breathing techniques to help them calm down. Encourage them to take slow, deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth. Practicing deep breathing together during calm moments can make it easier for them to use this technique when upset.
2. Validate Your Child's Feelings
During a tantrum, it's essential to acknowledge and validate your child's feelings. Let them know that it's okay to feel angry, frustrated, or upset. Use phrases like, "I can see that you're feeling upset right now," or "It's okay to be mad, but hitting isn't safe." Validating their emotions helps them feel understood and supported, which can de-escalate the situation.
3. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
Make sure your child knows the rules and consequences for their behavior. Be firm but gentle when enforcing boundaries, and follow through with consequences consistently.
4. Practice Empathy and Understanding
Empathy is key to managing tantrums compassionately. Try to see the situation from your child's perspective and understand the underlying reasons for their tantrum. Are they tired, hungry, overstimulated, or feeling overwhelmed? By empathizing with your child, you can better address their needs and help them feel supported.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement involves praising and rewarding desirable behaviors. When your child manages their emotions effectively or follows instructions without resorting to a tantrum, praise their efforts and offer positive reinforcement.
6. Offer Distractions and Choices
Provide them with alternative activities or choices to help them regain control. For example, offer them a favorite toy or ask if they would like to choose between two options for snack time. You can also engage your child in physical activities that can help release pent-up energy and reduce stress levels. Take a walk together, dance to their favorite music, offer them to use a rocker swing, or encourage them to jump on a trampoline or bounce on a yoga ball. Physical activity can help regulate emotions and promote overall well-being.
One more thing you can do: designate a specific area in your home as a "calm down corner" where your child can go to regulate their emotions. Fill this space with comforting items like soft blankets, stuffed animals, or sensory toys. Encourage your child to use this space when they need a break from overwhelming emotions.
7. Maintain a Consistent Routine
Kids thrive on routine and predictability, so maintaining a consistent daily routine can help prevent tantrums before they occur. Establish regular meal times, nap times, and bedtime routines to provide structure and stability for your child. Predictability can reduce anxiety and frustration, making tantrums less likely to happen.
8. Foster Effective Communication
Help your child develop their communication skills to express their emotions and needs more effectively. Encourage them to use words to express how they feel and validate their attempts to communicate. Teaching them simple phrases like "I'm mad" or "I need a hug" empowers them to express themselves in a healthy way.
Take the time to listen actively to your child's concerns and frustrations. Empathize with their feelings and let them know that you understand why they are upset. Sometimes, just feeling heard and understood can help calm them down.
9. Lead by Example
Children learn by observing the behavior of their parents and caregivers. Model positive coping strategies for managing emotions and stress. Show them how to use deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or other calming strategies when feeling upset. Your calm and composed demeanor can help reassure them during tantrums.
10. Seek Support and Resources
Parenting can be challenging, especially when dealing with tantrums. Don't hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or parenting groups. Educate yourself about child development and effective parenting strategies through books, online resources, or workshops. Remember, you're not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate through challenging moments.
Summary
When your child throws a tantrum, it can be tough to know what to do. But by staying patient and understanding, and using some simple techniques, you can help your child work through their feelings in a healthy way. Some things you can do include staying calm yourself, acknowledging your child's emotions, setting clear boundaries for behavior, and talking openly with your child. Remember, tantrums are a normal part of growing up, and with your help, your child can learn and develop important skills for coping with their feelings.
